When love is in the air, it can be a wonderful feeling. Having someone that cares for you as much as you care for them is a secure and warm kind of emotion with no comparison. As OutKast reminds us though, if nothing lasts forever, then surely love doesn’t always last. And when our loves end, we sometimes find ourselves feigning the high of love again and scrambling to find new relationships to fulfill the high.
While love is a glorious and beautiful emotion, searching feverishly for it without taking time to properly heal our hearts is a recipe for disaster. People jump in and out of relationships and “situationships” in search of that romanticized honeymoon feeling. And because we have not tended to our leftover hurt from before, we bring that baggage with us and ruin a potentially good thing.
Why is no one talking about the importance of being happily single?
We love to be “cuffed up” without any time to breathe, and when things fail we wonder why. Without even knowing ourselves individually we seem to sometimes expect someone else to figure that out for us. When what we really need is some quality time to ourselves.
Unfortunately, many people are afraid of being alone because they think being alone equals being lonely. And it’s not about being lonely; it’s about taking time to know and learn yourself and who you are. When we keep putting our hearts on the line without taking time, we leave ourselves wide open for emotional vulnerability. Think about when you fall off your bike (or maybe fall from a drunken night with friends…no judgement here): you damage your skin. And it takes time for your skin to properly scab over and heal. But when you pick at the scab before its done healing, what happens? You ruin the healing process because your scab is still sensitive. Your heart is the same way.
“Healing yourself is connected with healing others.” – Yoko Ono
By allowing yourself time to reflect and learn from previous loves, you allow yourself to become stronger emotionally. Once you reach that achievement, you can be a more stable and secure person in your next relationship. And being more stable and confident tends to offer a better experience with a good partner.
In the meantime, enjoy being single! The beauty of singleness is that you get to date YOU! You get to spend time doing the things that you want to do, and learning more about your likes and dislikes, your hobbies, your favorite foods, and all kinds of things. In these moments, it’s alllll about you, honey. You are the center of your own attention. And doing this makes you that much more sure of what you want in a partner. Not someone to complete you, but someone whose presence compliments your own bad assery. Read that sentence again.
Remember to take time to salvage and repair your own aura. The energy that you allow around you should reflect the energy that you want in yourself. It’s okay to detox between relationships and take some time for yourself. And you can always get back to looking for Mr. or. Mrs Right.